So, I’ve been really stressed out with life lately as anyone whose read this will know. But I have been really working on trying to look at the good instead of the bad and to stay positive and I think it is helping.
Yes it sucks that my car wasn’t running and that things kept getting more broken instead of fixed. But instead of letting that get me down, my dad helped me realize to look at what was good instead. I have an amazing father who was willing to let us use his vehicle to get around until ours was done. I have a awesome father in law, who worked very hard and tirelessly to help us get our car working again. I appreciate them both very much.
We did get our car back, but it still wasn’t running quite right, then it started leaking transmission fluid and once again we were back where we started, not being able to drive it. We didn’t want to put more work on Ben’s dad because he’d already put a ton of time and money into it, and it had been nothing but a giant pain in the ass for him. My dad helped again and said no worries, here’s a mechanic that can probably help you and I’ll come get you and let you use my truck again while you get it figured out. Ben and I are very grateful for both our dads helping us a ton.
Then god, (or the universe, or whatever you wanna believe it is out there), stepped in. Our neighbor, who we haven’t spoken to much, saw Ben out there checking fluids and messing with the car and asked what was going on. Turns out, he is a transmission specialist by trade. He took a look at it, stopped the leak, fixed the idle, and the next night, after we bought the parts he fixed the rest. Then we spent most the night BSing with him and his wife, who both seem like really cool people, and could maybe be some new friends, and if not, at least good neighbors to have around. Thanks to him and Ben’s dad we have our car back!!
I drove it yesterday and it felt like a dream!!
It felt like I finally had MY car back.
And I didn’t need to be nervous to drive it anymore. Then as if it were a miracle, my drivers side window, which has been going out and clunks hard and sounds awful every time it’s opened or closed, stopped doing that. I musta rolled it up and down ten times, up, down, up, down, just fine no clunking as if it was brand new. So, to keep the streak going I decided to try my FM transmitter for my phone, which has been charging my phone but will no longer go through the radio to play music. And is if it was another miracle, music came on, and the girls and I were rocking out to Happy while driving down the road. It’s amazing!! It’s as if my car has been miraculously restored to it’s former self of a few years ago.
I’ve heard it before, and maybe it is true, that if you project positivity that you will also attract it.
I said before Ben and I have been trying to find the right path for our lives, a new career for him or something where he can be happy and support our family, well we haven’t found it yet, but thanks to an awesome friend of ours, he did get an amazing opportunity to work for a local company and take product photos for their website! I am sooo proud of him!! It’s awesome to know that his work is going to be helping sell this company’s products! Hopefully they will continue to want to use him for more projects in the future. He’s also got an opportunity to edit video for some other really neat projects, which if all is as good as it sounds could be an awesome opportunity for him as well.
While, I am still saddened every time I think of my son, and the life he didn’t get to experience, while, I am still in pain just under the surface of any moment from the piece of my heart that is missing, and while I am still an active volcano of emotions all the time, realizing that it could be worse, realizing that I do have some, not just good, but amazing people, and things in my life has really helped me to not be feeling so down all the time. Life can still be hard, and I will still cry, and I will always always always miss my son, but I have awesome family who are always there for me, an absolutely amazing husband, who puts up with me, loves me unconditionally, and is always right by my side when I need him, and an extremely smart, beautiful little girl, who makes me smile everyday! I think of these things and I realize, even though sometimes it sucks, A LOT, life can also be beautiful!