It’s hard to celebrate a day that is meant to cherish moms when one of the babies that made me a mom isn’t here. I thought I was ok. I have a fun day planned. But some days just hit me harder than I expect them too.
Ben has to work so it’s my first Mother’s Day without him. I didn’t think it would be a big deal but I had a huge ache in my heart when he left this morning. I haven’t had to deal with anything about Renix without Ben right by my side. He’s amazing! But today I woke up thinking about my baby boy. Wishing he could be here with us too. Longing to just give him a hug or a kiss. It hurts so much.
But then this beautiful little girl all on her own remembered it was Mother’s Day and brought me my present which was all her idea and she picked out. A whole bag full of mini candles! She is such a sweetheart and I don’t know what I would do with out her.
My husband and her also gave me the biggest bouquet of roses I’ve ever seen.
Even though it’s hard to spend the day without one of the people who made me a mother I am forever thankful to have my daughter and husband by my side.
I’ve never shared these pictures of Renix before, I’ve always been afraid of what others would think. But I thought in honor of mother’s day I would share a couple pictures of both of my babies. Because I don’t give a fuck what people think anymore. He was my son and he was handsome and he was created out of so much love. And a piece of my heart will always be with him in heaven. These photos were taken the day he was born. The photos taken that day are the only ones we have. I will forever love you my beautiful baby boy!